I’ve felt a kind of despondancy at the things I want to get done and how little I seem to be able to do about it.
I mean, I have this website that I’m paying for and have barely let anyone know that it exists. I didn’t get any editing for myself done this week. I missed a podcast recording when my kids were home sick so I didn’t open up my planner or computer. I thought a Clearing the Creative Podcast episode had gone up on the 4th of November and it still isn’t up. I forgot to schedule it. I typed up a whole post and then forgot to hit save so it went away and now I’m rewriting this.
Acknowledging the time suckers, the physical limitations, the obligations that surround us everyday can make us feel like we are being beaten up by waves. It’s important to let go of perfection now more than ever. Excellency is good but if it means nothing can get done then it’s a hindrance and an inner bully voice that needs to be introduced to love and acceptance.
I’m learning to quiet that voice of insufficiency and disappointment. This humanity is a game where our egos get to experience all kinds of hurdles and separation and loss but none of it is permanent. No matter where I feel like I’ve fallen short, I haven’t lost any of my inherant value.
I’m stubborn enough to continue to put my heart out there. I’m trying to help other people put their hearts out there, to not let their creativity and expression get washed out by the pains that make it feel impossible. People that care about me, that see me have told me how I have impacted their lives. They have told me how I impressed them, and it’s important to not let that get lost in the murky water, but to steep my brain in the truth of who I am and what I’m capable of. So I have this website and I’m writing posts on it. And I’m sharing it and I’m moving forward. And I believe in me and I believe in you.
P.S. Whatever you are working on, don’t forget to hit save.